this is not just a parentheses.

Apparently jobs are fulfilling. They give you a sense of purpose and they're supposed to fill your life with meaning. But you know what? I only have this period of my life to do whatever I want before I become another cog in the machine of life - university, job, marriage, kids. So I'm going to do whatever the hell I want to do that I will never have the chance or time to do again. I don't need to lug myself awake every morning just to go to some stable, boring job that will "give me a sense of purpose". Okay, I admit it would be nice to have extra money to spend. But is it worth it if I don't have the time to spend it?

Maybe this is all just a way to comfort myself for the fact that I haven't been able to find a part-time job that makes me happy and distracts me from my apparent lack of purpose, but I'm pretty content where I am. I'm learning new things everyday - guitar, yoga, dance class. I finally get to read what I want to read, not what the school wants me to read. The best thing is, if I feel like doing something, I can just do it. No more lines like, "I can't, I have to study" running through my mind or passing through my lips. I have no more excuses. There is only now and if there's something I want to try, now is the time to do it.